But, it should be. Criminy.
Taper...those 2-3 weeks prior to the Big Event when we drastically reduce our training volume allowing our bodies to rejuvenate. This time is also know for the taper crazies that most of us are beset with. Suddenly, with more free time on our hands, our minds take advantage by playing all kinds of tricks.
Intellectually, I know I need the rest. Even physically, my body has been giving me strong signals that it is TIRED. But, emotionally, I feel almost guilty at taking more than one rest day a week. In the back of my mind, this niggling doubt that I should be doing more constantly battles with my need for rest. I'm crabby and anxious and am tired of thinking about the race. I especially don't want to TALK about the race...at least with anyone not doing it.
I know that my anxiety and irritability stems from the terror that I won't finish this race. Intellectually, there is really little likelihood that I will not see the finish line. But, again those pesky emotions pipe up. There's so many ways to screw this thing up.
It's kind of funny how my fears have changed as I've traversed this journey. At first, it was the swim. Could I overcome my issues with open water to be able to do the swim at all? Yes! The difference in comfort level in those conditions is like night and day. I don't think that is going to be a problem, unless something unusual happens. Then, after the Kansas 70.3 debacle, I was worried about swimming fast enough to make the cutoff. However, I've swam the distance twice, once in open water and once in a pool in well under two hours. So, again, unless something unusual happens, I should be ok with the swim. Ironically, I've now come to believe that the swim will be the easiest part of the day.
Then, as I've trained in this gawd-awful summer heat, I was most worried about the heat. I just couldn't imagine running a marathon after going 112 miles in triple-digit heat. However, we might...just MIGHT...dodge a bullet there. The weather has been glorious. If it will hold for one more week...!
Now, I'm most worried about screwing up the bike segment, either by going too fast or messing up my nutrition (or both). My last long ride was HORRIBLE. 115 miles and it wasn't even that hot. I was cramping at the end (which I've never had issues with in the past) and the thought of running 26 steps much less 26 miles off the bike would have had me in tears. I haven't really been able to shake off that ride. (Yes, I know that it was the second 100+ ride in less than a week. Yes, I know it was the third week of three big build weeks. Yes, I know my body was at its highest fatigue level.) In spite of those hard facts, my emotional response is still fear.
Ironically, my long run the next day was the best one since I started training for IM. This is the weirdest damn sport.
So, if I can get through taper without killing anyone and come out the other end with any friends left, I'll consider myself fortunate. I did my last long-er bike ride today (30 miles). My legs weren't tired for the first time in forever, but I still felt sluggish. I downed a GU at the turnaround and felt much stronger on the way back (again...note to self on nutrition!).
The race is 8 days away...!
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